


Outside Influence

by dunicha



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Rimming, Unrequited Love, dubcon, dubcon through coercion, love potion, shower scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-26
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-06 13:30:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/736233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dunicha/pseuds/dunicha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki slips Thor a love potion. Will he be able to fight its influence?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I love ThunderShield so much.

Thor has always been a deep sleeper. This would not be the first time Loki took advantage of that.

Loki stalked slowly towards Thor's bed, the ghost of a smile on his lips. It had been a while since he'd gotten up to any mischief on Midgard, and he was happy with his latest scheme. At first, he had wanted to simply annoy and humiliate Thor, nothing too big, just remind his not-brother that he was still at large, and could still get to him whenever the mood struck. Any number of small pranks could have achieved that. But as Loki hid on Earth and watched Thor from afar, a more devious plan occurred to him.

Thor was clearly devoted to his new teammates and his new life here. Loki had watched as The Avengers fought together, dined together, lived and worked and played and relaxed together. He watched as Thor watched movies with Clint and Natasha, chatted with Bruce and Tony, and learned about modern Midgardian life together with Steve. Steve Rogers. The Soldier, the Leader, the Man Out of Time.

It was obvious from their interactions how much Thor admired the Captain. Loki had thought that Thor, hot-headed and arrogant as he was (less so since his banishment, but still...), would be unwilling to be anything less than the leader of their group, but he took to Capt. Roger's command without question. They were brought together at first by a similar unfamiliarity with the world around them, then found they had much more in common. They were both noble and chivalrous, and were viewed as somewhat old-fashioned or anachronistic by the rest of the team. They naturally gravitated towards each other, and had forged a deep friendship. Of all his teammates, Thor valued Steve the most, and therefore, if Loki were to attempt to contaminate any of his new relationships, this would be the one most devastating for him to lose.

It was a simple enough potion to concoct. The only hard part was capturing Capt. Rogers essence so Thor’s thoughts would be focused on him, rather than the first person who touched him. Loki had caused a disturbance midtown and snuck into the tower afterwards while the Avengers were being debriefed. A single hair was sufficient to complete the potion.

Loki reached the bed. He ran his fingers through Thor’s hair fanned out on the pillow, then climbed on top of him so he straddled Thor’s hips. He pulled the small vial out of his pocket and removed the stopper. “Oh, Brother...” he breathed, “I don’t envy you the tangled web your thoughts are about to become.” He ran his thumb over Thor’s bottom lip so his mouth opened a sliver. Loki poured three drops of the potion into Thor’s mouth, then kissed his forehead. “Sleep well, Brother. This may be your last chance to do so for a while.”

Thor slept on. Loki climbed down and walked to the window. He glanced back with another small smile, then disappeared.

*****

Thor woke the next morning with no recollection of last night’s visitor. He greeted everyone at breakfast as usual. The first hint that something was amiss came when Steve entered the kitchen and sat across from Thor. Thor could not look away from him: strong jaw, clear blue eyes, handsome features. Thor felt as though he had never seen him clearly before. After staring for several minutes, he became aware that the chatter had died around him and everyone was watching him.

“You okay there, Thor?” asked Tony.

“I apologize, my mind must have been wandering.”

The conversation picked up around him again. Thor shook his head slightly to clear it. He wasn’t sure what had come over him.

*****

Later that morning, Thor sat alone in the lounge. The TV was on, but he paid it no attention. He kept going back to the way Steve had looked at breakfast. His appearance did not seem to have changed in any way. Thor could not understand why he had been so struck by the Captain that morning. 

Steve entered and sat close to Thor, and he was struck anew. He was very aware of their thighs touching. It was difficult to focus on Steve’s words, and he could not take his eyes off the finely toned limb now pressed to his own.

“Are you feeling alright?” Steve was saying. “You seemed a bit....distracted at breakfast.” He laid a concerned hand on Thor’s arm.

Thor slowly lifted his eyes to Steve’s face, taking in every inch along the way. After a moment, he spoke. “I was distracted, Captain.” He stood. “Let us leave it at that.” As much as he hated to be so abrupt (and to remove himself from Steve’s suddenly alluring presence), Thor forced himself to ignore the questioning look on Steve’s face and leave the room.

*****

Thor was relieved to finally reach the solitude of his rooms that evening. The entire day had been much like the morning. He had very nearly caused an accident during team training that would have injured Tony by being so focused on the movement of Steve’s lips that he didn’t hear what he was actually saying. Steve had wanted to discuss what had happened afterwards, but Thor had no explanation. None he could actually give, anyway. Thor had considered skipping dinner, but he knew that would arouse suspicion. It took all his concentration, but he managed to avoid another incident like breakfast, and escaped to his rooms as soon as he could. 

He wasn’t sure what was wrong with him today. Every moment spent apart from Capt. Rogers had Thor longing for him, another glance, another touch, anything. But when they were actually together, Thor was torn between that longing and wanting to flee, lest he do something he would regret.

He had always admired Steve, that much was true, and he felt a closer friendship with him than the others, but before today, friendship was truly all it was. So why was he now savoring every touch and glance, memorizing his every feature?

Thor began pacing the room. He had never really been attracted to men. Such things were not unknown on Asgard, and did not hold the same stigma that they seemed to have here on Earth. (Steve had once told him that it had been much worse at the time he came from, but Thor thought there was still a long way to go to true acceptance.) Thor had experimented some when he was younger, but for the most part had always preferred the fairer sex. Furthermore, he had known Steve for months now, and had never thought of him as anything more than a fellow warrior and friend. If he didn’t know any better, he would have suspected some sort of outside influence, but Tony had reassured them all that nothing and no one could enter the tower without them knowing about it.

Thor wondered briefly if he should talk to Steve about this, but dismissed that thought as quickly as it came. Steve had spoken often of the woman he had loved before being trapped in the ice, and had courted several women since waking. He had also expressed some discomfort with the idea of men openly being together soon after the Avengers had formed. Tony had accused him of prejudice and told him how things had changed, and Steve had never expressed such thoughts again. But it proved to Thor now that his advances would be unwelcome. Thor sighed and stopped his pacing. The last thing he wanted to do was break his bond with Steve.

Thor got into bed. Perhaps tomorrow would be better. Perhaps he could shake this newfound infatuation.

*****

_He was in his chambers on Asgard. It was well after midnight. A warm breeze stirred the thin curtains and caressed his skin like a lover’s sigh. He could see a figure standing on the balcony, facing him, beckoning to him. Though the moon was bright, it was as if shadows passed over the figure, blurring and shading his features so that Thor could not see him clearly until he had approached close enough to reach out and touch. Steven. His beloved. Thor smiled as he stepped even closer, close enough to feel the heat of his body, close enough to wrap his arms around Steve’s shoulders, close enough to press their foreheads together. Close enough to feel Steve’s breath on his lips. He ran his hands across Steve’s shoulders, down his arms, across his stomach, over his naked hip, feeling the smooth skin, the hard muscles, caressing every inch he could reach of his beloved’s body. He was a perfect paradigm of manhood, beautiful, powerful, ideally proportioned. There should be likenesses of him, statues of marble, to serve as an example for others to strive towards. He should be honored, revered, worshipped._

_Worshipped...._

_Thor dropped to his knees and kissed the top of his foot, then his ankle, then the inside of his calf, dragging his lips and tongue slowly upwards. As Thor passed his knee, Steve leaned back against the stone railing of the balcony, and tipped his head back with a sigh. Thor travelled still higher, his hands stroking the sides and backs of Steve’s legs while his lips continued trailing kisses across the soft flesh of his inner thigh. Just as Thor reached the crease at the top of his thigh, he felt Steve’s fingers in his hair, nails scraping lightly..._

Thor woke suddenly, sitting up and and scrubbing his face with his hands.

Was it not enough that Steve was in his every waking thought? Must he now invade his dreams, too? Thor looked out the window, thinking of his dream. It was still dark out, but dawn was very near. He laid back down, waiting for his alarm to go off, and willing his thoughts away from his teammate.

*****

When Thor arrived at breakfast later that morning, he was relieved to see that Steve was not present. He began eating at top speed, hoping to finish quickly and escape before Steve showed up. His dream was still at the forefront of his mind, driving out all other thoughts, and he didn’t know if he could behave properly if the subject of his nighttime visions was before him.

Beside him, Clint laughed. “Hey, slow down there, buddy, no one’s going to take it from you.”

Thor swallowed his mouthful, but before he could respond, Steve walked into the kitchen. Shirtless. Stretching, showing his impressive physique to its best advantage. Covered in a sheen of sweat, obviously having just come up from the gym. He poured himself a cup of coffee, with Thor watching his every movement, then turned and leaned against the counter. And _smiled_. Smiled directly at Thor, as if they were the only two in the room. Smiled in such a way that the only thing Thor could think of was lifting him up onto the counter and sucking his bottom lip into his mouth before kissing him breathless.

Thor sat frozen. Steve’s smile turned quizzical, and he opened his mouth to speak. But before he could say a word, Thor let his fork fall onto his plate with a clatter and swiftly stood and left the room.

*****

He left the entire tower, wandering the city and wondering what to do about his predicament. Around every corner was another sight or location that reminded him of Steve, some place they had visited together or destroyed during battle. Combined with his dream and the way Steve had looked that morning, every memory left him a bit more aroused and a lot more frustrated.

Of course, as soon as he returned to the tower, he ran into Steve almost immediately. He had almost made it to the corridor that lead to his room when Steve called from behind him.

“Hey, Thor!”

Thor took a deep, steadying breath and turned around, hoping his arousal would not be too noticeable. It was all Thor could do not to press Steve up against the wall and make him well aware of the state he had him in.

“What is it, Captain?”

Steve looked slightly taken aback by his clipped tone, but didn’t comment on it. “I was thinking of going out for a while, I was hoping you’d come w-”

Thor cut him off. “I’ve just been out Captain, and I have other things to attend to now.”

“Oh - okay then, I guess I’ll see you later -”

But Thor had already turned away and was hurrying towards his room. He was aware he was being rude, but there was nothing else he could do. He forced himself to ignore the almost hurt tone of voice, tried not to picture how it would be reflected on Steve’s face: knitted brow, eyes slightly narrowed though filled with concern - and so blue - slightly downturned lips....red....full....

Thor let out a low growl of frustration. Perhaps a cold shower was in order.

*****

The cold water did not have the desired effect. He was just as aroused as he had been all morning. He rested his forehead against the cool tile and began to palm himself slowly. He tried futilely to think of anyone other than Steve; dear Jane, brave Sif, fierce Natasha, any number of comely maidens who had shared his bed back on Asgard, even Darcy, but every time his thoughts wandered back to his teammate. He clawed at the wall in frustration as the cold water assaulted his back. Finally, finally, he gave in, moaning softly as he wrapped his hand around his now fully erect cock. 

_Steve, smiling softly from across the table at breakfast - panting, sweaty and bloody after battle - laughing loudly with the rest of the team in the lounge - working out in the gym - bright blue eyes, soft lips, broad shoulders, strong hands - those hands, clapping him on the back, pinning him down while they sparred, knocking Thor’s own hand away and fisting his cock...._

Thor felt his cheeks flush even as his hand moved faster. He fervently hoped Steve would never find out about his strange fantasies. How horrified he’d be to see Thor now, if he knew what was going through his head....

_What if Steve could see him now? If he burst through the door, threw back the shower curtain, and saw Thor stroking his cock rapidly while moaning Steve’s name. What if he stepped into the shower, spun Thor around and pressed him back against the wall, then ran his hands down Thor’s sides and hips as he dropped to his knees..._

Thor threw his head back with a roar as his orgasm ripped through him. He came harder and longer than he had in years. 

After a moment, he sighed heavily and turned his face to the water. It seemed nothing would distract him.

*****

The gym was thankfully empty. Thor wandered about aimlessly, trying to calm his still agitated thoughts. Perhaps he needed a break. Living in such close quarters with the object of his obsession would surely only make it harder to get past it. He could probably find a reason to return to Asgard for a little while; the distance might be enough to turn his thoughts to anything other than -

“I hoped I would find you here.”

Steve.

Thor sighed and looked out the window. His fantasies in the shower crowded into his mind and made it difficult to think of anything to say. He didn’t trust himself to speak anyway.

Steve waited a moment for Thor to say something, but the silence stretched on. Steve crossed the room and stood a few feet behind him. “Thor, it seems like you’ve been avoiding me. Have I done something to offend you?”

“Far from it, Captain,” Thor answered quietly.

Again, Steve waited for Thor to say more, but he did not. He stood with his back to Steve, staring down at his hands, willing the other to leave before he said or did something he would regret.

Steve cast about for something else to say. "We could spar, if you like, since we’re both here..."

As Steve spoke, Thor imagined a scene: _Steve, skin slicked with sweat, trying to pin him to the mat, but Thor is too quick, too strong, and he flips them over, pressing Steve down, tangling his hand in Steve's hair, kissing him hard, all teeth and tongues and gasps and groans, as he ruts against Steve's thigh -_

"NO!"

Thor clenched his fists and turned to the side. He had spoken too quickly and too loudly. Steve took in Thor's flushed face and embarrassed look, and the way he was edging towards the door.

"Thor, tell me what’s wrong. You've been acting strangely for the last day or so."

"I assure you, Captain, all is well. I've merely been..." But the excuses died on his tongue as Steve moved closer, concern etched across his face. Steve reached out a hand, but Thor backed away.

"Are you sure? Look, whatever it is, I would like to help if I can, in any way..." As he spoke, he reached out again, this time managing to lay a hand on Thor's shoulder.

Something akin to electricity radiated through Thor's body at the touch, and he snapped. With a low growl, he grabbed Steve's upper arm and shoved him roughly back into the wall. Steve's mouth fell open in surprise, but before he could say a word, Thor was on him, claiming his lips in a desperate kiss, gripping Steve's hips and pulling their bodies flush together.

Thor's eyes were closed. He didn't want to see the horrified look on Steve's face. He couldn't stop, because he knew as soon as he did there would be questions, accusations, demands for answers that he wasn’t sure he could give. He didn't know what caused these sudden feelings for his teammate, he just knew that he could resist them no longer.

There it was. This was it. He felt Steve's hand on the back of his head, tangling in his hair. His head was yanked back, and Thor opened his eyes. But instead of shock or anger or confusion, the look on Steve's face was pure lust. Thor wondered at that for a moment, but then Steve's mouth was on his neck, sucking, biting, moaning his name, and Thor stopped thinking altogether.

After a few minutes of frantic kisses and wandering hands, Thor needed more. He began tugging at Steve shirt to untuck it so he could finally feel the body he had been thinking about non-stop for the past two days, but Steve stilled his hand. “Thor, we can’t do this here.”

Thor groaned, but he knew Steve was right. “Your room is closest, come.” Thor grabbed Steve’s wrist and pulled him along as he made his way to Steve’s quarters as quickly as he could.

The second the door clicked shut behind them, Thor pulled off Steve’s shirt and pushed him onto the bed so he could resume his quest to feel every inch of him. Thor straddled Steve’s waist and ran his hands down his chest. Every touch was a balm to the burning obsession he had been suffering the last few days. Steve was reclining on his elbows, staring up at Thor with a curious mix of emotions on his face, desire and apprehension and others less easily read. Thor pressed him flat onto the bed before removing his own shirt and lying on top of him. Between kisses, Thor said, “You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted this. I’ve been unable to think of anything else for two days straight.”

Steve was panting softly and had hesitantly placed his hands on Thor’s waist. “Two days?”

“Yes.” Steve opened his mouth to say more, but Thor kissed his lips again, swallowing his words. After a moment Thor pulled back, with Steve chasing after him, trying to prolong the kiss, but Thor extracted himself from Steve’s grasp. He stood and removed the rest of his clothes, his cock jutting out proudly from his body, drawing Steve’s gaze downward. Thor grinned and took himself in one hand, reaching with the other to open Steve’s trousers, but Steve grabbed his wrist.

“Thor,” Steve gasped, “I.... I’ve never done this with a man before....”

It was a few moments before his words broke through Thor’s lust-addled mind. He pulled back and searched Steve’s face. It took every ounce of willpower he possessed to say, “We do not have to continue, if that is what you wish.”

“NO! No, god no, that’s not what I’m saying. I just thought.... you should know....” Steve looked faintly embarrassed.

Thor smiled, relieved. “Oh, Steven. I am going to give you so much pleasure.” He divested Steve of the rest of his clothing and moved him further up the bed before crawling on top of him again and kissing his way down his chest and stomach. Steve pushed back up onto his elbows so he could watch. Thor smiled predatorily up at Steve when he reached his navel, then slowly licked a stripe up the underside of Steve’s cock. Steve gasped and grabbed at the sheets. Thor did it again, then closed his lips around the head of his cock. He slid down agonizingly slowly while Steve moaned and twisted his hands, bucking up slightly into Thor’s mouth. Thor placed a hand on Steve’s hip to hold him down. 

Steve began whimpering. “More....please, more....” He was almost panting for it. Thor came back up just as slowly as he went down. “Patience,” he said, before swirling his tongue around the head. Steve reached back and fumbled in the drawer of the nightstand for a moment before producing a bottle of lube. Thor took it and coated his fingers. He took Steve fully back in his mouth as he pressed one finger in. Steve moaned and writhed at the intrusion. Thor held still for a few moments so he could adjust. 

“Are you alright?”

Steve nodded rapidly. “Yes....I’m ready.”

Thor returned his attentions to Steve’s leaking cock, while adding a second and third finger as quickly as he could comfortably do so. Steve was soon arching his back and fucking himself on Thor’s hand, rubbing his own chest and becoming increasingly vocal. Thor was delighted. He had imagined Steve would be more reserved, as he was outside the bedroom, but he very much prefered a more responsive lover.

“Mmmm....ah, Thor....I’m getting close....”

Thor pulled off his cock with a pop, and removed his fingers. Steve whined at the loss, but before he could speak, Thor pushed at his hip. “Roll over, on your knees.”

Steve rushed to comply. Thor pushed him down onto his elbows and spread his legs apart until he was almost flat on the bed, then spread lube over one hand.

“What are you going to do?”

Thor didn’t answer; instead, he spread Steve’s cheeks and pressed his tongue to his entrance while reaching underneath to grab his cock. Steve took a deep, shuddering breath. “Oh, my god...”

Thor began stroking him hard and fast while plunging his tongue in as deep as he could, licking Steve open further.

“Oh, Thor....” Steve breathed, gripping the pillow beneath him and pressing back onto Thor’s hot, eager mouth.

“Yesss.....say it louder.” Thor tightened his grip as he sucked and nibbled at the tender flesh beneath his lips.

Steve moaned out, “So good....so close....yes....Oh, god, Thor....”

Thor released his cock for a moment to deliver a sharp slap to the back of his thigh. “LOUDER! Tell the world who’s taking you apart!” He began stroking Steve harder and faster than before, and bit down on his ass.

“THOR!!” Steve roared as he came over Thor’s hand and onto the sheets.

Steve rested his head on his hands for a moment, panting, then looked back over his shoulder at Thor. Thor grinned wickedly as he licked the cum off his fingers. Steve returned his smile. “So,” said Thor, as he sat back on his knees, stroking his manhood lazily, “are you ready for more?”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “Not just yet; give me a minute.” He arched his back and closed his eyes.

Thor leaned forward so his cock rested in the cleft of Steve’s ass, and trailed kisses across his shoulder. “Take as long as you need.” He ran his hands down Steve’s back, chasing them with his lips, admiring the strong frame and muscular form. _He really is a beautiful man. How did I not notice sooner?_

“I did not think you would be so receptive to my advances. In fact, I was so certain of rejection, I have had to restrain myself in your presence the last few days, or leave it entirely, as my thoughts had become so clouded with want that I did not trust myself not to reveal my true feelings.”

Steve rolled over and sat up, catching one of Thor’s hands in his own. He did not meet Thor’s eyes, instead tracing the cords on the back of his hand with one finger as he considered his words. “Where I come from, or when, I should say, this sort of....relationship was seen as an illness and a crime. I learned early on to hide that side of me. Even after waking up here and now and learning that such things were more accepted, I didn’t dare....I didn’t know how....I mean, I was so used to hiding it, I just kept pretending to be normal. Then, when I met you, those feelings came back. I never thought you’d want....a man....a _human_....me. So I kept on pretending. I was happy just to be close to you....to be friends.”

Thor tipped his face up until their eyes met. “I always felt a deeper connection with you than any of the others. But it was only very recently that I realized what was missing.” Thor kissed him softly. “I am only sorry we did not do this sooner.”

Steve smiled. “So am I.”

Thor pulled Steve up onto his knees and kissed him again, starting out soft but quickly turning heated. Thor could feel Steve’s growing interest against his hip. Thor took Steve in hand to stroke him back to full hardness, and Steve followed his lead. 

Thor could not get enough of Steve. His touches, his taste, the scent of him, the feel of the coarse hair beneath his hand and the hard muscles. Thor fell back onto the bed, pulling Steve down on top of him. Steve yelped in surprise but caught himself before landing with his full weight on Thor and laughed. Thor chuckled too and held Steve as tightly as he dared, relishing the feel of their bodies pressed together. Steve began rocking his hips slowly to rub their cocks together.

“Are you ready for more?” Thor asked.

Steve didn’t answer right away, apparently lost in his own pleasure. Thor bucked up slightly and rubbed his thighs to get his attention. Steve’s eyes flew open.

“More, love?” Thor repeated.

Steve nodded rapidly. “Yes. Yes, more. Tell me what to do.” He moved as though to get off, but Thor stopped him.

“Stay there.” Thor grabbed the lube to rub on his cock and Steve’s hole, inserting one finger then two to make sure he was still prepared. Steve’s head dropped back with a moan as he grabbed his cock and began riding Thor’s fingers. Thor stopped him after a moment and pulled him forward so he could position himself at Steve’s entrance. “You’re in control in this position. Just relax, go slow, and do what feels best to you.” He lightly stroked Steve’s cock while waiting for him to make the next move.

Steve took a deep breath and pressed down, taking the head of Thor’s cock inside. Thor’s eyes rolled back in his head. _So tight...._ They were both panting heavily, Steve with the overwhelming sensations that were completely new to him, Thor with the effort of holding back from thrusting up into him. Steve was rocking back and forth slightly, thighs trembling, taking Thor a little deeper each time. They moaned simultaneously when he finally bottomed out. When Steve began moving again, Thor thrust up slightly, experimentally, then harder when Steve responded positively. They soon had a good rhythm going, and Thor knew he wouldn’t last much longer, though he wished it would never end.

Steve suddenly gasped and leaned forward. “What was.... oh, do that again.” Thor attempted to replicate the movement and knew he succeeded when Steve gasped again and clenched down hard on Thor’s cock. Thor groaned at the sensation and grabbed Steve’s hips to hold him still so he could try to brush against that special spot more frequently. Soon he had the angle right to hit it with almost every thrust, and Steve was becoming completely unhinged. He was writhing in Thor’s grasp, hands scrabbling at Thor’s shoulders and chest, head rolling and mouth open with half-formed words that grew increasingly louder as he drew closer to release. Soon he could do nothing more than scream, “Oh....oh....OH! THOOOOOOOR!” as he came completely untouched between them. The sight of Steve coming undone and feel of his insides throbbing around Thor’s cock was enough to send him over the edge as well.

The sudden silence in the room was deafening. Steve moved to lay on the bed as well, but Thor held him still for a moment longer, wanting to prolong the feeling of utter completion he felt in the moment of release. It was a relief beyond the pleasure of his body; it was a soothing of his mind of the agitation he’d been suffering. After a few moments more, Thor pulled out and rolled them so they were laying side by side and staring into each other’s eyes. Thor smiled at his newfound lover. “We will have to do that again sometime.”

Steve laughed softly and leaned forward to touch their foreheads together. “Yeah. Definitely. As soon as possible.”

*****

That night, Loki decided to check on his handiwork. He appeared in the tower well after midnight and went searching for Thor. When he glanced in Steve's rooms, he stood frozen in shock. Steve and Thor were asleep, lying naked together on top of the blankets with limbs entangled. “Well now,” he whispered to himself, “this is unexpected. Looks like you owe me one, Brother.” 

Steve stirred a little at the sound in the otherwise silent room. Loki immediately disappeared. Steve opened his eyes and glanced around. When his gaze landed on his bedmate, he smiled softly and ran his fingers through Thor’s hair. Then he closed his eyes and went back to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Thor entered his rooms one evening, smiling broadly and at peace with the world. He was returning home after an outing with Steve - a date, it was called, apparently - and looking forward to another night of slow kisses and frantic passion. Steve had gotten held up when they entered the tower by some S.H.I.E.L.D. agents who had been waiting for him, needing his expert opinion on some op, so Thor had continued to their rooms on his own. Steve's rooms, actually, but since their first encounter a few months ago they'd not spent a single night apart. He was truly happy for the first time since coming to Midgard, and this realm was finally starting to feel like home.

He should have known it wouldn’t last.

When he shut the door and moved further into the room, he became aware of a presence behind him. Thor summoned Mjolnir to his hand and whirled around to face the intruder.

“Come now, Thor, is that anyway to greet your brother?” Loki stepped out of the shadows.

Thor lowered his hammer, but not his guard. “It has been long since you’ve claimed that title. Brother.”

“Perhaps. But I claim it now. I know how much it means to you, Thor, that I pretend to buy into the lies told to me for so -”

Thor cut him off. “Enough. What are you doing here, Loki?”

Loki paced away from him, looking around the room. “I’ve come to apologize.”

That was not the answer Thor expected. “Apologize for what? Are you finally going to own up to your crimes? The Battle of Manhattan?”

“No, of course not. That wasn’t my idea.”

“Perhaps the time when you -”

“You’re not going to guess it, Thor,” Loki interrupted. “I’ve come to apologize for something of a more personal nature.”

“And what would that be?”

Loki looked down, apparently contrite, though Thor knew him well enough to recognize the glint of mischief in his eye. “I’ve played a terrible trick on you, Thor, and I wish to make amends.”

“And just what is it you are supposed to have done? I have not noticed any trickery.”

“Of course you haven’t. I’ve a more practiced hand than that.”

“What is it you have done?” Thor repeated.

“I gave you a potion as you slept.”

“And what was its effect?”

Loki smirked for just a moment before putting the mask of sincere remorse back in place. “Love.”

Thor looked up sharply, stricken. “No....”

"I'm afraid so, Thor. I gave you a love potion infused with Captain Roger’s essence. I thought it would be a bit of fun, watching you acting like a lovesick puppy and trying to fight the urges of your body - and it was! - but what I honestly did not anticipate was that Captain Rogers would return your....ah....feelings. I cannot in good conscience allow you to continue your relationship under false pretenses; it wouldn't be fair to either of you." He stepped towards Thor with a malicious smile in place and his hand outstretched.

Thor caught his wrist. "Loki, please do not do this. We are happy! I love Steven, please...."

But even as he spoke Loki laid his other hand on Thor's chest and Thor felt tendrils of magic flow through his body, then back into Loki's hand. He felt no different, but the satisfied look on Loki's face told Thor that he had succeeded, that he was no longer under the influence of the love potion.

Thor yanked Loki towards him. "Why, Loki? Why do you do this to me? Why do you torment me so?"

Loki grinned, the slightly maniacal, unhinged expression that had sadly become all too familiar to Thor since Loki fell from the Bifrost and came back changed. But before he could respond, they heard footsteps in the hall outside, then the rattle of the doorknob, and Loki disappeared.

Steve entered and smiled warmly at Thor, and Thor felt....nothing. That is, he still held Steve in high regard as he had since they met, but he felt none of the feelings he had become accustomed to experiencing whenever Steve entered a room, the heady rush of love and desire, the longing to touch, the intimate connection between them. It was strange to have the memory of those emotions but no longer feel them.

Steve of course had no knowledge of what had just transpired, and was untroubled and happy. He eyed Mjolnir. “Is everything alright?”

Thor turned away to lay Mjolnir aside and muttered, “It is nothing.”

Steve walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, but Thor stiffened and pulled away. Steve grabbed his hand and pulled him around. “Something is wrong. Tell me.”

Thor sighed. “It...it is nothing to concern yourself with just now. Let us go to bed.”

Steve smiled flirtatiously. “If you insist.” He kissed Thor and went into the bathroom. Thor got into bed, leaving his t-shirt and boxers on, with his back to Steve’s side of the bed. He had never not been naked when in bed with Steve; he hoped Steve would get the hint. He didn’t want to discuss this until he had had time to consider his options.

Steve came back out and Thor could pinpoint the moment he’d noticed Thor’s position by the slight hesitation in his step. He turned off the lights and got into bed. After a moment he spoke. “Thor?”

“Yes?”

Steve rolled to the side and pressed himself to Thor’s back, one arm draped over his stomach. “Whatever’s troubling you, just know I’ll do anything I can to help.” He kissed Thor’s shoulder. “I’d do anything for you.”

Thor squeezed his hand briefly. “I know.”

*****

Long after Steve had gone to sleep, Thor lay awake, staring at the ceiling in the dim light from the windows. He knew there was only one course of action, but he dreaded having to take it. Steve loved him deeply, had for quite some time, and he had said more than once that this was the happiest he’d been since waking from the ice. He did not want to hurt Steve, but he didn’t seem to have a choice.

Thor had considered faking the closeness he used to feel, wondering if it could turn to true affection with time, but something Loki had said kept coming back to him. _It wouldn’t be fair to either of you_. Try as he might, Thor simply did not see Steve in that light anymore, and he doubted that would change. All he felt now was the same kinship and respect he had felt before Loki and his potion. There was no other option. He would have to tell Steve the truth, and the sooner, the better.

*****

When Steve woke the next morning, Thor was already up, looking out the window with his back to the room. Steve came to stand next to him after dressing and placed a hand on his back. Thor stepped away and turned towards him with a grave expression on his face.

“There is something I need to discuss with you.”

“Is it whatever was worrying you last night?”

“Yes. I had a visitor last night while you were speaking with the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents.”

“A visitor? Who?”

“Loki.”

Steve looked surprised. “What did he want?”

“He said he had done me wrong and wished to make amends.”

“He’s ‘done you wrong’ several times, what exactly did he want to make up for?"

Thor was silent for a few moments, then said, “He gave me a love potion.”

Steve laughed. “Those actually exist? Why would he do that? Who exactly are you supposed to have....fallen....” The full implications of what Thor was saying suddenly hit him. “No....Tell me it isn’t true.”

Thor sighed and turned back to the window. “I am afraid it is.”

“Well, what did Loki do? Why did he come here?”

“He removed the effects of the potion.”

Steve grabbed Thor’s arm and forced him to turn back. “What does that even mean?” Thor bowed his head and didn’t answer. “You don’t love me. You never did.” Steve felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him.

Thor stepped away, removing Steve’s hand from his arm. “I am very sorry, Steven....”

“You’re sorry? You’re telling me that everything that’s happened the last few months, everything we’ve said and done, it’s all been a lie?” Steve was nearly shouting, pacing the room and agitatedly running his fingers through his hair.

Thor said softly, “I meant it at the time.”

Steve suddenly stopped pacing with a bitter laugh. “Two days.”

“What?”

“The first time we were together, you said you’d been thinking of me for two days. I thought that was strange at the time, but I didn’t really care since I was finally getting a shot with you. I should have known it wasn’t real, that there was something else at work.”

“There was no way you could have known....”

“Right. Magic is more your domain. You should have known.”

“Steven, please....”

Steve collapsed onto the bed, deflated. Thor knelt in front of him. Steve took his face in his hands and whispered, “You could try. Please. Please try....”

Thor took Steve’s hands in his, removing them from his face. “Steven. Please try to understand. I am so sorry this has happened, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you, but I do not ....”

But Steve found that he didn’t want to hear what Thor would say next. He felt like he would lose it if he had to hear Thor actually say aloud that he didn’t love him. He jumped up and almost ran from the room, slamming the door behind him.

Thor let him go. There was nothing more to be said.

*****

Steve spent very little time in the tower over the next week, seeing the rest of the team only at scheduled meetings and not saying much to anyone. Everyone seemed to know that he and Thor had ended things, but not the reason why, for which Steve was eternally grateful. He didn’t think he could handle the humiliation he would have felt at everyone knowing that the only reason Thor had ever looked his way in the first place was because of magic and mischief, that it was Thor’s little brother’s idea of a joke.

The more he thought about it, and he could think of little else, the more he felt that he should have known something was amiss. A secret side of him had hungered for Thor since they had met, but he had known not to hope anything would come of it. What would a simple kid from Brooklyn have to offer a demigod, one who had stepped out of myth and legend? When Thor had begun to act strangely in the days leading up to their union, he still did not dare to hope, thinking he was reading too much into his behavior. It wasn’t until Thor had pressed him up against that wall that he finally believed his secret desires, his wildest fantasies were actually coming true. To suddenly have them ripped away again was cruel beyond measure.

But he knew he couldn’t stay away forever, or even for very long. Everyone lived at the tower so there would be the greatest chance of them all being together in case the team was needed, and Steve knew he had to return despite his personal problems. He went back, unannounced and with little fanfare, hoping not to call attention to himself. He was thankful the rest of the team didn’t treat him any differently or mention his absence, and the pitying looks were a small price to pay.

He went back to being their somber, stoic leader. He didn’t smile much anymore, for he no longer had much reason to. He tried his best to move forward and forget the last few months and how happy he had been.

*****

Steve had his first encounter with Thor much sooner than he would have liked, only two days after returning, but he had been preparing for it as soon as he decided to come back. He was alone in the gym, working the heavy bag, when he heard the door open behind him. He turned in time to see Thor enter and stop at the sight of him.

“I can come back later, if you prefer.”

Steve turned back to the punching bag. “No, it’s fine, you can stay.”

Thor walked over to him. “How are you?”

Steve sighed and stared down at his hands. “I can’t pretend I’m happy with the way things turned out, but I’m dealing with it.”

“Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you? I will stay at S.H.I.E.L.D or even return to Asgard, if you wish it...”

“No, don’t do that. We need you here. The team needs to stay together, that’s most important. Like I say, it’s my problem, and I’m dealing with it, and we’ll be fine.”

“I am sorry, Steven.”

“You don’t need to keep apologizing. It wasn’t your fault; I know that.” He paused, then continued more softly, “We were friends before. Give me a little time, and we will be again.”

Thor smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. “I am glad to hear it.”

Steve almost broke at that simple touch, but he managed to keep his composure, barely. He stayed in the gym a few minutes more, for appearance’s sake, then fled to his rooms. As soon as the door was shut behind him, he leaned against it and slowly slid to the floor. He hated this, having to keep up appearances, pretending to be okay, when he was dying inside. He was exhausted, unable to sleep at night; he hated the sight of his empty bed, and what little fitful sleep he did manage was always disturbed by dreams of loss and heartbreak, or by the nothingness that met his hand when he reached for his lover in the darkness. He hated Loki, not for giving Thor the potion, for he wouldn’t trade their time together for anything in the world, but for taking it away from him.

*****

The battle had raged for most of the day, and it was late afternoon by the time it was wrapped up. Everyone was dirty and tired, but most of the havok had been contained and the small army Loki had magicked up to do his bidding had been destroyed. Loki himself had disappeared when the fight turned against him, but Thor believed he would still be nearby to control his minions.

Steve was on his way back to regroup with the others when he saw a flash of light out of the corner of his eye. He called it in and went to investigate. He found Loki crouched in an alleyway, injured and exhausted. Steve approached him cautiously, but he barely acknowledged Steve's presence. Steve knew he should call for backup, but he hesitated. He turned off his comms.

"Why haven't you healed yourself?" Steve asked, gesturing to the wound oozing blood visible through a gash in Loki's armor.

Loki glanced up and tried for something like his usual smirk, though it came out more like a pained grimace. "My magic has been depleted by the battle. I thought I had reserved enough to transport myself, but apparently not." He sighed, resigned. "Go ahead and call your agents to capture me, Captain Rogers, I'm in no state to fight you. It will only be a minor inconvenience to escape later."

Steve still hesitated. "Is it true? About the love potion?"

Loki gave a weak chuckle. "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Steve was torn between relief that Thor was telling the truth, that he hadn't left because of something Steve had done or simply changed his mind, and a renewed sense of grief because this meant that Thor had never really loved him at all, that it had all been a lie.

"Why'd you have to end it?" Steve muttered, more to himself than to Loki.

"My dear brother looked very happy with you. And I simply couldn't have that."

Steve sighed and reached up to turn his comms back on, but Loki's voice stopped him.

"I still have some left. If you want it."

Hope suddenly burned so brightly in Steve’s chest he was dazzled by it. "You do?"

"Yes. It isn't possible to brew only the three drops necessary, so I did have quite a bit leftover. Do you want it?"

Steve wanted it more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life. But surely there was a catch. "What would it cost me?"

"Not much. Just let me go now, and come to me tomorrow evening to....complete the transaction." Steve looked skeptical, but before he could protest, Loki continued. "Come alone, and” - he cast a disparaging look at Steve’s shield - “unarmed, and I swear no harm will come to you." He pulled a small card out of thin air and handed it to Steve. Just that small gesture seemed to have exhausted him further. The card had an address written on it.

Steve knew he shouldn't even be considering this, but his longing for Thor was overpowering. Here finally was what he had wished for every night since Thor had told him about the potion and ended their relationship: another chance. "Okay. I'll come." Loki nodded and slumped back against the wall. Steve walked out of the alleyway and turned his comms back on. "It was nothing, I'll meet everyone at HQ to debrief."

*****

The next evening found Steve pulling his motorcycle up in front of a small house in the middle of nowhere, a few hours north of the city. He rang the bell and Loki answered, looking much better than he had the day before, casually dressed and uninjured, with his usual sly smile in place. "Good evening, Captain."

Steve felt awkward meeting his enemy this way, and he wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. "Hi. So, can I just have the potion? We can both be on our separate ways..."

Loki held up a hand. "No no, I think you've misunderstood. I won't hand it over so easily."

Steve sputtered, "But...you said if I let you go...."

"I said you had to let me go and then come here to _complete the transaction_. Please come with me."

Loki led Steve into a small bedroom. There were two comfortable armchairs on either side of a fireplace with a small fire burning in the grate and a large bed, but no other furniture. Loki sat in one of the chairs and gestured to the other. Steve sat stiffly and waited for Loki to tell him what was in store for him.

Loki smiled genially and said, “Can I offer you something to drink?”

“No, just tell me what you want from me.”

“Time. Just one evening. That’s not too much to ask, is it, for this?” He conjured a small glass vial and held it out to Steve.

It was a thin, unadorned cylinder, about two inches long, filled with a clear liquid. Steve took it to inspect more closely. “So this is it?”

“Essence of Rogers.”

Steve smiled slightly. “What would happen if I drank it?” Loki raised one eyebrow. “Just out of curiosity.”

“Then I suspect you would end up with a personality closer to Stark’s.”

Steve chuckled. “What do I do with it?”

“Three drops should be sufficient for the effects to last a mortal’s lifetime. I understand you are not like most mortals, but I’m giving you the entire vial, so you can re-administer it as needed.”

Steve nodded. “Thank you for this.”

Loki tipped his head towards Steve with a mischievous smile that Steve didn’t like the look of at all. “You are welcome. Though you haven’t paid for it yet.” He plucked the vial out of Steve’s hand.

Steve sighed. “What else do you want?”

“Answer some of my questions now.”

“Fine. What do you want to know?”

“Why do you always let my dear brother, and I believe this is the right term, ‘top’?”

Steve flushed a bright crimson and sputtered, “Um...I....wait, what? How would you know anything about that?”

Loki laughed. “I have been watching you for some time.”

“Why?!”

“Do you not think it wise to keep an eye on your adversaries? There has scarcely been a week that I haven’t taken a turn around that ghastly tower you call home.”

“That’s not possible. We would know.”

“I know that Stark thinks his ‘technology’,” he said the word as though it left a bad taste in his mouth, “will keep you all safe, but it is no match for my magic.”

“Why haven’t you killed us all in our sleep, then?”

Loki looked affronted. “I have more honor than that, Captain Rogers.”

“Why are you telling me this? Now that I know -”

“You’ll what? Tell your little team when you get back home? I don’t think so. They won’t believe you, for there is no evidence, not on the surveillance footage nor on any sensors nor with that electronic butler you have. And will you tell them where you’ve been this evening? Who you’ve been with? How we arranged to meet? Why you let me go yesterday afternoon? How will you explain how you came by this knowledge?”

Steve rubbed his eyes. Loki was right; how would he explain this? And even if he did tell the others, and they believed him, what could they do about it?

“Putting that aside, why would you be watching me and Thor?”

Loki gave him a salacious smile, eyes raking over his body. “Let’s just say I’ve taken an interest in you, Captain.”

Steve leapt up and backed away from Loki. “Whoa....No! That’s not -”

But his vision was suddenly clouded, as though he were looking through thick fog, and the next thing he knew, he was lying flat on his back on the bed with Loki laughing over him. “I don’t know if you know this, Captain Rogers, but you do have a reputation for being a bit naive. I would hate to discover that it is accurate. Did you think we were going to talk all night? Nothing is bought from me so easily. What say you?”

Steve closed his eyes. How could he have let himself get caught in this situation? He wasn’t sure what to do. He could refuse, and leave....and lose his last chance at getting Thor back. The thought of Thor made his heart ache. But the thought of having sex with Loki seemed like an unforgivable betrayal, in more ways than one. Steve felt utterly lost. He couldn’t agree to this. But he couldn’t bring himself to say no, either.

“What say you, Captain? I will not take you by force - though I could...” Steve felt a curious sensation spread through his body, and found he was completely unable to move his limbs. He struggled in vain, anger and terror warring on his face. Loki laughed softly and released him. “I need to hear your decision, if you are to claim your prize.”

Steve covered his face with his hands. For a few moments he was unable to say anything. Then... “Okay.” The word was almost inaudible.

“I’m sorry, Captain, what was that?”

Steve lowered his hands and glared at Loki. “Yes! Fine. I’ll do whatever you want.”

Loki looked positively gleeful. "Good!" He rolled off Steve and laid back, arms behind his head and legs crossed. “Get up and strip for me.”

Steve blushed and looked away. Of course Loki would make this as humiliating as possible for him. He stood and kicked off his shoes and socks as quickly as he could, and hunched over as he took off his belt, trying to make himself as small as possible.

“You will have to do better than that. Make it more of a show, I prefer if you....”

Steve yanked off his shirt and threw it in Loki’s face, and had removed the rest of his clothing before Loki extracted himself from it. Steve thought he might be angry, but he actually looked delighted as he tossed the shirt aside and stood. He beckoned Steve forward with a look that deepened his blush. 

When Loki ran his hands over his chest, Steve tried his hardest to just focus on the opposite wall and ignore what was happening to him. When Loki kissed his way up Steve’s neck and along his jawline, Steve began breathing deeply to steady himself. When Loki’s lips found his and he felt Loki trying to part them with his tongue, Steve stiffened noticeably and refused to participate. He felt Loki’s lips turn up at the corners. Loki sucked Steve’s lower lip into his mouth and bit it none too gently, but he still refused to react.

Loki chuckled. “Very well, have it your way.” He dropped to his knees and took Steve’s flaccid cock into his mouth. Loki was extremely talented with his tongue, and Steve’s stoic facade finally cracked. His blood flowed south so fast his head spun. He tried to bite back his moans, but it was a losing battle. Loki took Steve’s hands and placed them on his head, and when he moaned in return, the vibrations caused Steve to ball his hands into fists with his fingers tangled in Loki’s hair. He was so lost in his own pleasure he wasn’t even aware of the moment when Loki stopped bobbing his head, instead guiding Steve’s hips back and forth. All Steve knew was he suddenly looked down to find he was holding tight fistfulls of Loki’s raven locks while he fucked his mouth with abandon.

As soon as he saw what he was doing, he dropped Loki and stepped back, breathing hard. Loki stood, wiping his mouth, and said, “Why did you stop? That was just getting good.” He ran one finger down Steve’s cheek, but Steve knocked his hand away and didn’t answer.

Loki looked amused. “Lay down.” Steve did as he was told while Loki got undressed and crawled on top of him.

As Loki straddled his waist, he produced a bottle of lube from somewhere and asked, “Have you ever been on top?”

“Not with -” Steve couldn’t say his name, “- another man.”

“But you’ve been with women?” As he spoke, Loki reached back, inserting his fingers to prepare himself.

“Yes, a few....” Loki leaned forward, moving his hips to rub their cocks together and fuck himself on his own fingers.

“Which do you -”

“Look, can we not talk?” Steve interrupted.

Loki lowered himself further so he lay on Steve’s chest and whispered in his ear, “As you wish.” The light breath and scrape of lips and tongue on the shell of his ear gave Steve goosebumps. He shuddered and arched his back as Loki kissed his way along his jaw. Loki took Steve’s hand and guided it in between them, wrapping it around their cocks and thrusting slowly into Steve’s grip. Steve’s eyes rolled back in his head as he moved alongside Loki. Loki let his lips brush against Steve’s when he whispered, “Do you like that?” Steve nodded slowly, tightening his grip.

After a few minutes, Loki slid forward so he could guide Steve into him while Steve continued to stroke his cock. Loki leaned forward slightly with his hands on Steve’s chest as he began to move, and he was biting his lip and whimpering with every roll of his hips, and it was too slow, too intimate. Steve grabbed Loki’s hips to try to get him to speed up and closed his eyes, trying to forget who he was with and why he was doing this.

“Are you really going to make me do all the work?”

Steve sighed, his eyes still closed. “What more do you want from me?”

“Make an effort! I know what you’re capable of, I’ve seen it.”

Steve glared up at him and said, “Well....forgive me if my heart isn’t really in this.”

Loki laughed. “Pretend I’m someone else if you like. I won’t be offended. I’ll even help you....” As Steve watched his appearance began to change, hair turning lighter -

“Don’t you dare!” Steve shouted, sitting up as much as he could and catching Loki under the jaw.

Loki grabbed his wrist, digging his nails in hard, looking suddenly serious, and said slowly, “Then give me what I want.” His voice was strangely muffled, whether by Steve’s grip on his throat or his clenched teeth, Steve couldn’t tell.

Steve released him. Loki pulled off and got down on all fours on the other side of the bed, stretching like a cat and looking back at Steve. Steve lay still a moment longer, then thought to himself _Just do what it takes to get this over with_. He got into position behind Loki, grabbed a fistful of his hair, and hissed, “Is this what you want?” as he thrusts in to the hilt with a snap of his hips. 

“Yessss....” Loki moaned out, hands clenching at the sheets as he pushed back to meet Steve’s thrusts. He removed Steve’s hand from his hair. “On my hips, yes, like that. Tighter, I want to see hand-shaped bruises there tomorrow. A little faster now....yesss....perfect.”

Steve thought Loki must be getting close, as his voice was getting breathier and his movements less controlled. Soon all he was doing was whimpering, “Harder,” as Steve impaled him over and over. Suddenly he cried out, “Harder, Supersoldier! Show me what you can do!”

Steve clenched his jaw and thrust into Loki as hard as he could, at the same time yanking him upright by his hair, grinding against his prostate and holding him up with his other arm. Loki barely got a hand onto his cock before he howled and ejaculated, collapsing back against Steve as the next wave of his orgasm hit.

As soon as Loki was finished, Steve pulled out and dropped him onto the bed. He made to get up and get dressed, but Loki pulled him back, saying rather breathlessly, “Oh, no, we’re not done here. It’s your turn.”

Steve muttered through gritted teeth, “It’s fine.”

Loki pressed him onto his back and straddled his waist once more, smiling down at him. “No no no, that won't do at all; I have my own reputation to consider. Let it never be said that I left a lover unsatisfied.”

“Believe me, I don’t plan on ever saying anything about this at all....” But then Loki lowered himself back onto Steve’s cock and his words caught in his throat.

“That’s too bad, I’ve quite enjoyed our time together. I was just thinking we should do this again someday, at your place next time. Of course, you would have to send Thor out to sleep in his own rooms for the night....”

Steve snarled and tossed Loki off him to the side, onto his stomach. Steve rolled on top of him, knocking his legs apart and entering him again. This position had the advantage of allowing Steve to still Loki’s tongue. He covered Loki’s mouth with one hand and panted into his ear, “Shut up. Don’t talk to me about him.” He dropped his head so it rested between Loki’s shoulder blades as he fucked Loki as hard as he could, wanting to finish quickly. It was only a minute or two before Steve released Loki’s mouth in favor of grabbing his hips, pulling them up so Steve could slam into him even harder, holding him there, coming with a muffled shout.

As soon as he could, Steve pulled out and flopped over onto his back, breathing hard. Loki got up silently and walked into the bathroom. Steve just stared at the ceiling, trying not to let guilt and self-loathing overwhelm him. He tried to remind himself that he did this all for Thor, so that everything would be as perfect as it had been just a few weeks ago, before his world was torn apart, but that thought just made the sense of guilt intensify. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he had just cheated on Thor, even though Steve knew he didn’t want him anymore. Well. That would change soon enough. Steve got up and got dressed.

Loki emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed, and tossed the vial onto the bed. “There now. Is that what you wanted?”

Steve gave a small smile, despite his inner turmoil. “Yes, thank you.” He picked it up and headed for the door, desperate to put this evening behind him.

“Is it though?”

Steve turned around against his better judgment. “What do you mean?”

“Do you really want a partner that you had to enslave using magical means? One that you know doesn’t really want you? Can you wake up every morning and look Thor in the eye, knowing now that every kiss, every loving caress, was borne of that elixir in your hand, and not of any true affection for you?”

Steve turned towards the door again, shaking his head, trying to block out Loki’s words.

“And Thor will know it, too.” Steve turned back, horrified. “Oh, he won’t care, not when you’re near and the magic is telling him that’s all that matters. But he’ll know what you’ve done when he wakes up longing for you again.”

Steve could scarcely process what Loki was saying. Of course, he’d planned all along to get the potion, to get Thor back, but he hadn’t thought about it in those terms. He looked down at the vial in his hand, then dropped it as though it had burned him. Loki smirked at him. “You might as well take it with you. After all, it’s been paid for.”

Steve advanced on Loki threateningly.

“You - all along you planned -”

Loki laughed softly and stroked his cheek. “Of course I did, Captain. Not so naive after all, are you?”

Steve grabbed Loki by the throat and slammed him back against the wall, but Loki only laughed louder before the fog passed over Steve’s eyes again and he found himself standing outside next to his bike. He could feel the vial in his pocket.

Steve paced back and forth a bit, agitated, running his fingers through his hair and breathing hard. After a few minutes he decided there was no point in staying there. He got on his bike and drove away from that wretched house.

He could still do this. He could give the potion to Thor that night, and wake up tomorrow and be happy again. He would have his lover back, he wouldn’t have to sleep alone anymore, everything would be right in the world again. Loki said that Thor wouldn’t care while he was under the influence of the potion. Steve could pretend that he didn’t care, too. They could still be together. He could still have what he so desperately wanted.

*****

At the first bridge he came to, Steve stopped his bike and tossed the vial into the river below, then drove back to the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.....this didn't go where I thought it would.


End file.
